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Wednesday, May 31, 2006
I dun have the courage...
Last night, one of my ex called me... Hm... It's been long since i last talked to him on the phone... his voice like changed le... haha... maybe too long i forget his voice le... starting a bit weird weird de.. but after a while then ok le... nice chatting with him as a fren... he told me a lot of things... like he realised his mistake... he blamed himself for treating me tat way last time... he think back our past memories then say I really treat him very well during tat 3 years he feel very touched... Actually he was hoping tat he can still be with me... but really la everything is meaningless now... too late le... I told him to drop tat idea... He himself oso know tat n dun have any expectations.. can sense tat he is ok le... we can really have a good chat lor... not like last time will start having arguements n quarrels during our conversations... I'm glad he's fine... He was saying tat I really deserve someone really good n wish tat my next one will give me true happiness... hope so ba...
His call made me realised how much I loved Ken... Although yest just went to his workplace to give him something, really miss him a lot... We r like strangers now... I dun have the courage to call him... Every time wanted to call but in the end still never... Scared like nth to talk about... Dun wish to face the fact tat I can't call him dear le... we can no longer talk to each other the way like last time le... Once in a while when I in office will suddenly cry... then will have ppl walking past my workstation then must stop crying n act as nth happened... It's really torturing... Today is the last day of May... it oso marks the day he left me for 1 month le... But I really got over it le...
How I wish there's someone by my side now... I know it can't be Ken anymore... See him happy I'm happy too... But sometimes will feel very lonely... esp when I see happy couples on the street... maybe coz I have been single all this while still not used to single life ba... funny... now single le then no one is there for me... i know i have my frenz but it's still sad when I'm not with the guy tat I loves n who loves me... But no point if tat person is not worth it la... haha... So... I really hope tat those ppl tat have someone by their side already be satisfied with wat they have n cherish tat someone tat really treats them well... n to not 'xian' tat person on their weaknesses n dream of having things tat they are lacked of...
Reflecting back on the past few years... Really a lot a lot I've been through n a lot I've learnt from the people I met... A big Thank You to all those people tat has passed by my life... No matter is it giving me happy or painful memories... I think I really 'kui jiu' towards those tat have stand by me but wat I gave them is disappointment... Hm... Everything leave it to fate ba... No point 'Qiang Jiu Yi Xie She Mo'... Wats yours is yours... I won't know who I will end up with eventually... so... I'll just keep my fingers crossed... Hee.. Just hope my 'Zhen Ming Tian Zhi' will appear soon...
Have some fears for my future... Duno if I will be able to clear my ACCA which I have registered for n which classes r going to start in a month's time... Then looking back at my job, I have not made any big achievements... Wat have I been doing these days?! Hai... From now on really need to live life to the fullest n cherish every moment I have...
written by*-- Dreamylingzzz @ 12:50 PM
*Esse
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r0byn--`
