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Tuesday, June 13, 2006
Lost in the middle of nowhere...
Realised have not been blogging for the past 12 days or so... Reason being... Too busy with work... Had an issue arising last last thurs in office... tats y me n almost all my colleagues have been doing overtime as well as coming back on weekends to do work... Hai.. Been busy... ya... but my mind seems to wander somewhere once in a while...
Why is love so tiring?... Been trying to forget yet unable to do so... Been trying to love someone else... I can't deny tat i really like him... the sweet feelings from the past all came back... but the moment i receive an unexpected msg from another him makes me think twice... makes me confused once again... He was saying tat he in camp not quite used to the life there... say i can call or msg him when i'm free... Reminds me of tat day, 9 june, i went to send him off to ns at Pasir Ris bus interchange... He din see me... and I was lucky tat i caught the sight of him boarding the bus with his family... Tat kind of pain... tat i shd have been on the bus with them... I feel like crying at tat moment... Although my fren was saying tat i'm silly... i have no business to be there... but yet my heart tells me to do so... no matter as a fren or as someone tat is still pining hopes on him... anyway i felt ease n happy to see him off... Yesterday was very surprised tat he would actually msg me... he say he din bring his hp to camp(tat explains y he din pick up my call last fri)... But he have actually think of me n give me a msg... tat kind of feeling is so... so... happy... yet sad... Think he only treat me as someone he can find when he is feeling lonely? Isit? I have promised him i'll always be there for him... but since he already decide to leave me... I shd really move on... n not let the past bother me... But it wouldn't he be unfair to him if i were to be with him n i still can't forget ken... Hai... My feelings for him has been true... n the kind of happiness is what i used to have...but where's the sense of security? I have no idea who i m to him... R we still frenz or r we couple already? Or maybe is i thinking too much? Really like the way he let me lie on his shoulder, hug me and touch my hair... say he miss me... msg me ask me how i have been...
When am I going to get out of all these troubles??? Really need to think through carefully before I hurt anyone or myself...
Maybe workplace is the only place i can throw away these thoughts for the moment...
The feeling is painful when I need to act like i very happy in front of him... Dun wish to let him know it hurts...
written by*-- Dreamylingzzz @ 1:19 PM
*Esse
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r0byn--`
